Ending a Relationship Without The Pain

Everything has both a beginning and an end. If you're like most people, then you've no doubt experienced firsthand the pain of ending a relationship -- and you probably want to know how to avoid it in the future. If that's the case, then read on to learn how to survive a break-up without the usual suffering.

First, don't call your ex. I know it sounds simple, but you'd be amazed at how many people violate this simple rule. Once the relationship has ended, if the other person hasn't called you, then chances are that they're not ready to talk to you. Calling them will only put them in an uncomfortable position, and may cause even more tension between you two. If you get the urge to talk about your break-up, then find a friend with whom you can discuss it. It's fine to talk it out -- just don't talk it out with the person that you recently ended "it" with.

Don't wallow in guilt/suffering. Yes, break-ups hurt. It's only natural to feel a bit disappointed, dismayed, or even emotionally injured by the end of a relationship. That's fine. Some people, when faced with the sudden loss of the emotional energy of a relationship, turn that passion inwards and begin beating them self up over the break-up. Don't do that. While it may seem like an easy "out" to turn feel sad with the same vigor that you once felt affectionate, it's not a healthy solution. Instead, go out and socialize -- try to fill the void with friends and family.

Stay busy. Oftentimes after a relationship, the last thing you want to do is work -- but that's exactly what you should do. Whether it's reading a book, going for runs, or some other hobby, you should find something to occupy your time. This will help you take your mind off of the break up, and will give you a bit of emotional distance from your recent relationship. If you're not thinking about the relationship, you'll get over it faster, and feel happier in the process.

Keep your confidence up. Just because one relationship didn't work doesn't mean that future ones won't. There are somewhere around six billion people on the planet -- of those billions some are compatible with you and some aren't. Life isn't perfect, but if you keep trying, sooner or later you'll find someone with whom you can connect. Don't let past problems get you down: focus on your social future (which you can change), rather than the past (which you can't.)

Lastly, don't see your ex "one more time." Time and time again I see friends do this, and it never works. By prolonging something that you've already decided is not for you, you're only setting yourself up for more hurt. Make-up sex isn't enough to keep a relationship going, and frequent booty-calls with your ex won't get you back together -- they'll only make it harder to get back to "just friends."

In summary: don't try and see your ex once more, stay confident, keep yourself occupied, and don't beat yourself up. If you follow these simple rules, you should be able to "weather the storm" and emerge from your break-up refreshed and ready to make a new connection.

By: Mr. U
Published: 04/29/08