Gaslighting: Emotional Abuse and Manipulation

Every year millions of people are abused by a spouse, friend or family member. Whether the abuse is physical or emotional it is devastating and it changes their lives forever. One type of abuse that is seldom heard of is called Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. This form of abuse is difficult to recognize and even harder to get away from. It has even been referred to as a common form of brainwashing. The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight in which the villain of the movie uses this technique.

The abuser tries to convince the victim that they are defective so that they can attempt to gain control over them. The more they convince them that they aren’t worth anything the more emotional they become and the more dependent they become on the abuser. This is what the abuser strives to accomplish. They like to have control and will say or do anything to have it.

Gaslighting is often done by family and friends who claim or may actually believe that they are trying to help. The abuser sees themselves as a nurturing parental figure. Gaslighting abusers may accuse the victim of cheating or make other outrageous accusations and then turn around and say they are just joking and wonder why the victim gets so mad.

Gaslighting renders no bruises or other signs of abuse that can be easily noticed by others. All of the damage of the abuse is done on the inside. There are so many strong people who become victims because of this type of abuse. Years of manipulation change a person into someone they don’t even recognize anymore. The victim becomes an emotional wreck without dreams and without self-esteem. They become someone they never wanted to be. They become a victim.

By: C.Olvera
Published: 04/26/08